If Ron Was Gay That'd Be Okay
by brownlow-babe
Summary: [One-Shot] It's Gryffindor vs. Slytherin! When Harry notices Ron looking at Malfoy with...lust! [Includes Avenue Q's "If You Were Gay"]


**A/n: I'm not one to write 'slash', but this was sort of out of boredom. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Avenue Q. Though I wouldn't mind getting either of them.

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Harry flew around the Quidditch pitch. The wind rushed through his hair, giving it a particularly messy look. That, while normally irritating to most, was currently earning looks of adoration from every stand. The only exception was, of course, the Slytherin.

He swooped around for a few minutes, looking intently for the snitch. Today was a particularly nice day. The sun was shining, the air fresh, and the sky a crystal blue. It was perfect Quidditch weather.

Seeing his opponents seeker, none other then Draco Malfoy, circling the pitch carefully, he knew the git had found nothing as well, and found it content to glance at his two best friends in the stands.

Hermione Granger was cheering her heart out. Wearing robes of deep red, currently matching her flushed face, she was jumping up and down while clapping wildly.

_It's good that she's finally left the library. _Laughed Harry, to himself.

Next to her, was Ron Weasley. A regular at the match's, nothing was deemed new about him. Except- _wait_ thought Harry.

He was staring at-

_No, it couldn't be._

Ron's gaze was latched on to Draco, still flying carefully around the pitch.

Hoping it was only a quick glance, Harry quickly realized Ron was ogling Malfoy, with, what could only be described from his position so far away from the crowd, as _lust_.

With nothing else to do, so high up and no snitch in sight. Harry pondered the idea of Ron and his sworn enemy Malfoy, beginning to hum a tune to himself.

_If you were gay,  
__That'd be okay,  
__I mean 'cause, hey,  
__I'd like you anyway.  
__Because you see,  
__If it were me,  
__I would feel free,  
__To say that I was gay-  
__(But I'm not gay.)_

So maybe that wasn't what he should have been focusing on. He shook his head, and tried to return his attention to the match at hand. Gryffindor was up by twenty points, putting the score at 90-70. If he caught the Snitch Gryffindor would be in the Quidditch Cup finals. Shaking his head once more, Harry resumed his hunt for the golden Snitch.

But his mind had a….mind of it's own, and he found himself humming once again.

_If you were queer,  
__I'd still be here,  
__Year after year.,  
__Because you're dear to me.  
__And I that you,  
__Would accept me to,  
__If I told you today,  
_"_Hey! Guess what! I'm gay!"  
(But I'm not gay.)  
I'm happy just being with you._

This was getting really strange. Harry didn't fancy himself the musical type, nor the type to sing about his best friends sexuality. He looked back at Ron, and was relieved to see him whispering to Hermione before both of them dissolved into hysterics.

However, ten minutes later, still laughing, Ron's 'gaze' returned to Malfoy.

_So what should it matter to me,  
__What you do in bed with-_

_STOP! _Harry mentally chastised himself. He was singing, which already wasn't normal for him. But singing about Ron and Malfoy? Gah! That was to bizarre to even contemplate.

_If you were gay,  
__I'd shout "Hooray!" _

He was getting angry with himself. _FOCUS ON THE GAME _He muttered through gritted teeth.

Fifteen minutes passed before an eager Harry caught the snitch. To the happiness of Gryffindor and Slytherin's dismay.

Back in the stands Ron turned back to Hermione, grin still featured.

"I can't believe it." Chuckled Ron.

"No one noticed. No one told him!" Giggled Hermione.

"That was classic. I couldn't take my eyes off him!"

"I know! You'd think he might check himself in the mirror longer next time."

"That gets fixed in my memory, the second addition to the Malfoy mental image hall of fame."

"What's this one titled?"

"Draco Malfoy- The Astounding Toilet Paper Magnet."

From the highest stand came a booming announcement, causing the students to turn back around. It was Seamus Finnigan, Lee Jordan's replacement as announcer.

"Oi! This just in. Anyone notice Draco Malfoy trailing a certain kind of 'paper' from his boot?"

At the locker room doorway, Harry placed two and two together before heaving a sigh of relief.

_Their hair colours would have clashed anyway.

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**A/n: Okay. That's all. /giggles> One-shots are fun!**


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